Embracing Uncertainty
Mess and uncertainty have moved into my life. They are not welcome visitors but I have a nasty feeling they are here to stay. We are in the middle of having building work done at our house and I’m also in the final weeks of my first pregnancy. Dust is my new best friend and as I sit writing a steady flow of water has started pouring out of the light fitting in the kitchen. I’m trying hard to be relaxed and positive about all the chaos but if I’m honest I just want to make everyone work faster and longer, whilst shouting ‘there is a baby coming!!’. I’m desperately craving certainty. Certainty about when the work will be finished. Certainty about when the dust will be gone and I can prepare the nursery. Certainty that the building project and baby’s arrival won’t overlap. But there is none.
Certainty, control and clarity. These are a few of my favourite things. Control over timings and outcomes. Clarity about what the future holds. When they are present I feel at peace and when they are absent I feel unsettled.
The seasons and circumstances of our lives are constantly changing. Some changes are small and subtle, others turn our lives upside down. Some of them are welcome and and some uninvited. Change comes and questions what is known, safe and familiar.
But it also offers us an opportunity. Tucked away in the midst of uncertainty there is a small door inviting us to see things differently. To shift our expectations, shake off old ways of thinking and behaving, and explore new perspectives and possibilities.
Whenever I speak to people about pursuing their passions there is always a deep desire to KNOW. To know WHAT they should be doing, WHEN they can make it happen, WHO they need to speak to. Which makes exploring and experimenting, waiting and wondering, trying and failing so hard.
Discovering what we are made to do is not a neat process. As with all matters of the heart, there are no short cuts but the end result is always worth the wait.
Here are some ways to make the path a little smoother.
Surrender
It’s ironic that we only find freedom when we surrender. It goes against all of our natural instincts. We strive and strain to find freedom. We make plans and predict outcomes. We rely on our intelligence, our education and training, our experience, our finances, our family and our friends.
True freedom only comes when we let go and recognise that we are not God. Surrender means letting go of our dreams, ambitions, plans, gifts and money. We need to resign as captain of our ship.
Let go of the need to know
We have to stop pressuring ourselves to KNOW. We have this false assumption that everyone else has worked out what they are doing with their life and we are the only ones who have yet to discover our true calling. The more we pressure ourselves the harder it is for new things to bubble to the surface.
Give yourself time
Finding what you love is a journey rather than a destination. It’s great to have goals and make plans but we need to hold these lightly. Give yourself plenty of time (months/years) to explore new opportunities and passions and see what emerges. Enjoy the process, give yourself permission to have fun and experiment.
Embrace the uncertainty
There is real freedom to be found when we embrace the mess of uncertainty rather than fight it. The more we try to cling onto certainty and control the more anxious we become. We want to know why it’s taking longer than we’d hoped, why we don’t have the clarity we long for and why God isn’t writing it across the sky. Someone recently described calling as a messy adventure and I love that.
What if we all held a little less tightly to certainty, control and clarity and embraced the messy adventure of the unknown?
Let’s discover the freedom of surrender.