Time to Think
At the end of last year I sat down with my diary and journal and looked back over the past year. It was the first time I’ve done this, as I’m normally so busy thinking about the year ahead that I forget to pause and reflect on the year that has passed. A flick through my diary reminded me of so many special moments-holidays, birthdays, days out, visits from friends. Then I sat down with my journal. This year I’ve journaled a bit more. I certainly don’t do it every day but I keep a note of books that have impacted me, lessons learned, ideas and dreams. Reflecting on all that I had experienced and learnt was incredibly powerful. I was surprised at the themes that seemed obvious in hindsight yet in the busyness of daily life I’d missed.
It struck me how much I would have missed if I hadn’t taken a couple of evenings just to pause and look back on the year. Life is so full and we rarely find ourselves with time to reflect on our lives. To ask ourselves what we want to celebrate and what we want to do differently.
When I became a mum nothing quite prepared me for the impact of someone needing me 24/7. Being wanted by someone so much is both indescribably precious and at times exhausting. I made many practical preparations for having a baby but I didn’t think about the rhythms of self care that would sustain me or my husband as we embarked on this life changing adventure. We had everything we needed to look after our son but I’m not sure we considered how we would look after ourselves! Our son is now three and we’ve had a wonderfully full and fun three years. So much has happened and so much has changed, much of it unplanned. Sometimes it can feel like we’re tumbling from one week to the next responding to whatever life throws at us.
I know from conversations with family and friends that we’re not alone, many of us are living chaotic and full lives. However I have this nagging fear that I might miss what really matters purely because I don’t take the time to stop and reflect. I don’t want to live life reacting to the events of each week. I want to live with purpose. I want to make intentional choices about what I invest my time and energies in, to consider what is shaping me and who I’m becoming.
As I looked back over the year I realised that I had neglected some simple rhythms and habits that create space and give life. Rhythms that enable me to give the best of myself to my work and my family. When I’m busy and tired I often turn to things which give me immediate relief -Instagram, ticking things off my to do list, TV, food, shopping. I run out of the time and energy to choose that which gives me life - time alone, sufficient time with family and friends, people to process things with, reading, exercise. Instead I turn to things that enable me to briefly escape but actually leave me more frustrated and drained.
We miss so much because we don’t take time out to step off the conveyor belt of daily life to consider if our current habits and behaviours are serving us well. To be honest about where we are now and where we want to be. To ask ourselves and our loved ones what we think is working and what isn’t. To make much needed changes. Since becoming a parent I have discovered that more than ever I need to take time out and be alone with my thoughts. As I’ve started to prioritise time away from all the noise of daily life, it’s given me the opportunity to reflect on the practices and rhythms that I need to build into my life in order to thrive rather than survive.
Lots of these rhythms and habits are slow, unexciting and hard work but they are slowly changing my life and transforming me from the inside out.
This year may we all build in rest stops for the journey ahead. May we seek out places and spaces to pause and reflect, to ask the big questions, to dream of what might be and invest our lives in that which brings life - to us and those around us.
If this resonates with you I’d love to hear from you, either via the comments below or you can send me a message on the Contact page.