Red Means Stop, Green Means Go
Mental or emotional exhaustion can accumulate. We can navigate a number challenging life circumstances and deal with many of them well at the time. But they quietly take their toll and at some point we need to rest. The trouble is life often asks us to keep going - we have busy jobs, families to look after, responsibilities. As we enter another national lockdown many of us are deeply fatigued from the last year but slowing down feels utterly impossible. I know many parents juggling homeschooling and work, and working until 11pm every evening.
The problem is, nothing in your life works when you’re not.
The signs that we are reaching our capacity are different for all of us and the pyramid below shows just some of signs that we’ve reached our limit. Individually many of the signs are subtle and easy to dismiss, but collectively they serve as a warning sign to slow down. The key is to know what they are for you, notice when you’re in amber and to take action before you tip into the red. You can use the diagram below to think through what your signs are for red, amber and green. For example, stress rarely impacts my sleep for some reason (for many people disturbed sleep is one of the first signs of stress), but when I’m reaching my limit my sense of humour goes and I overreact to small things. Knowing this helps me and those around me spot the signs early.
We are more isolated than ever from those that know us well and might otherwise pick up on some of the signs that we’re not our usual selves. Even if you live with someone, if you’re both working crazy hours it could be easy to miss. Wellbeing can’t be done in isolation. The cure for stress, exhaustion and burn out isn’t self care, it’s all of us taking care of each other. But to do that, we need to talk.
Depending on where you find yourself on this diagram, what are some of the conversations you might need to have with your yourself (!), family, friends, spouse, workplace?
What are the signs you aren’t doing well?
What do you need to function well?
Who do you need to talk to and what support do you want to ask for?
Here’s to doing wellbeing together. If it would be helpful to talk to someone who you don’t live or work with, please feel free to get in touch.