Embracing Limitations
I know a number of you dowloaded the Wellbeing Toolkit that I shared in my last blog. I’d love to hear how you’re getting on and if there are particular routines and habits that you’re finding helpful.
Last week I had a conversation with my fellow coach and friend Laura Duggal, who is a Career and Life Coach. We were talking about how we can accept and even embrace some of the limitations that we’re currently facing. Many of us have found adjusting to the new limitations that this pandemic lockdown is placing on us stressful. The source of that stress is less about the limitations on our freedom of movement and more about the sudden loss of control over how we work and live.
As Laura and I talked we noticed that there is a difference between actual limitations and self imposed limitations and how helpful it can be to distinguish between the two. So we decided to record our conversation (see below) as we thought it might be helpful to share some of the questions that have helped us and our clients process this and see things from a different perspective.
Actual Limitations
These are immediate limitations that we can’t change like:
- less time to do our work (for many of us) and increased workload/pressures
- loss of work or income
- the type of career we do
- season of life
- age
- personality type
- juggling work and parenting/homeschooling
- holidays, events, celebrations being cancelled
The harder we push against them and try to fight them the more frustrated, stressed and resentful we become. Our stress response is activated and we feel a lack of peace in our bodies and our minds. We can get angry and overwhelmed.
What if we could accept these limitations and perhaps even embrace the opportunity to adapt and change?
This is about accepting what we can’t control. For example, if you’re working from home whilst also trying to look after small children or homeschool it is difficult to be as productive as before and fighting it just leads to frustration.
What are the limits of this season for you?
How could you accept rather than fight them?
What opportunities might there be in this season?
Self Imposed Limitations
These are limitations that we place on ourselves like:
- self imposed deadlines
- assumptions about how much work we can do.
- assumptions about our personal capacity
- beliefs we have about ourselves and what we should be able to do
- self imposed standards eg perfectionism
- comparison e.g. they seem to coping ok why can’t I?
These limitations are self imposed and are within our control. They are things we’ve decided we need to do a certain way or by a certain time. If we can recognise when we’re doing this, then we have the power to make different choices.
What limits might you be imposing on yourself?
What could you do differently?
These limitations can be harder to notice and require us to take a step back and look at the big picture. Sometimes it’s easier for those around us to notice them and help us gain perspective. But when we do recognise them we have the opportunity to make different choices and adapt to the new reality we find ourselves in.
If you would be interested in a conversation with an experienced coach you can contact me zdcoaching@icloud.com or Laura https://www.linkedin.com/in/lauraduggalcoaching/
Laura and I are considering recording some more conversations so let us know if there are particular topics that you would like to hear more about.